and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize