He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
