Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
