Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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