I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
