i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
