I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
