That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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