She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
