The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
