Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
