I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize