If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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