Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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