CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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