ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
