so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
