It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
