the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
