I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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