I was born with a shot glass in my hand
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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