Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
