physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
