I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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