Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
