And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
