she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize