new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
