this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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