real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize