I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
No...this little piggys going to the bar
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
