I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
