she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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