Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i drank out of a bidet.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
