Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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