yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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