God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
