Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
foreskin is a definite game changer
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
