forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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