This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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