I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
