So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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