you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
