i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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