saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
