You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
