My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
