This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
