i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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