after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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