Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
