Don't you send me to vm
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize