yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Barsexuality is the new black.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
