I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
