There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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