glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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