the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
If its not for food we ain't going out.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
