Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
