Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
